I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
