I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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