Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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