Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
