He is an equal opportunity slut.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
