Just cropdusted the office
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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