I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
