Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
