Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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