my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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