batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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