If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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