If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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