Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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