please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize