We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
