You work out of a Hotel?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
