Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
