in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize