Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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