Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
