K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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