I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
