Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
