You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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