Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
