I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
