arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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