woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
