i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
