worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
