Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am spending my child support on dildos
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Help. Why am I so naked?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
