im six kinds of drunk right now
I've blown a few things in my day
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
