I bet he comes in French.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize