I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
