Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
