you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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