I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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