My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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