If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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