Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to have your abortion
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize