May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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