we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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