i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
