I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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