he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he fucked my hip out of place.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
