i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
