I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
