I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
