Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
