C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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