Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
