you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
