So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
