I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
