how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
