Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize