Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
