I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
