Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
