It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
