So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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