I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
