how can u be prego again
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
