What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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